Until now, we haven't done this here...

[Mr. Crocker]

FAVORITE QUOTES!!!

CROCKER- Hmm...that child with the overactive pituitary gland is getting beaten up by a floating frog...yay!

CROCKER- Hello, Turner.
TIMMY- Mr. Crocker! What--what--? What are you gonna do to me?
CROCKER- I don't know, Turner. You're not smart enough to baffle with a rhetorical question and your teeth are not bad enough for a magnet.

TIMMY- Why are you punishing us like this?
CROCKER- Why?! Let me answer your question with a few of my own. Why am I still a miserable school teacher or why doesn't my tracking device ever find me...A FAIRY GODPARENT?!
AJ- Well, you used an egg-beater instead of a DNA sampler and--
CROCKER- Silence! What is the sound of one hand clapping?!
AJ- I can't answer that either!

CROCKER- Stupid, two-bit room. Stupid, two-bit van. Stupid, two-bit life!
CROCKER'S MOM- Denzel, would you like some stupid, two-bit dessert? I made your stupid, two-bit favorite.

CROCKER- Out of my way!

CROCKER- Mustn't be late on my first day at my new teaching job because where there's a school, there are kids and where there are kids, there are bound to be...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!
WAXELPLAX- Mr. Crocker! What have you done?!
CROCKER- Approximately $1800 worth of damage, but fear not, Geraldine. I can fix it!
WAXELPLAX- I'm your boss now. Call me Ms. Waxelplax. And how do you propose to fix my car?
CROCKER- Once I capture a fairy godparent, I'll wish your car back to normal! FAIRIES!!!

CROCKER- Students, faculty, esteemed guests with big, fat government checks--how would you like it if every time you wanted something, it magically appeared?

CROCKER- Well, what are you waiting for? I'll take my money, accolades, fame, and great life now.

DENZEL- Take my hand if you wanna live!
GERALDINE- Ooh! Denzel Crocker! He's groovy and so heroic!
DAD- Thanks, Denzel Crocker. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare angrily at Dinkleberg.
DENZEL- Let me help you with that!

DENZEL- I can't wait to tell my mom!

DENZEL- Oh, hello there, stranger! Groovy green and pink animals!
TIMMY- Thanks! Righteous green and pink parrots!

DENZEL- Huh? What's this? Something's going on here, but I don't know what. "Fairy godparents exist!"? Fairies do exist! FAIRIES!!!

CROCKER- I know FAIRIES EXIST! And someday, I'm gonna CATCH ONE! They can't hide from me FOREVER! Gaaaaaah!
COSMO- Blah-blah, blah-blah-blaaaaah...
CROCKER- FAIRIES!!!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

Cosmo: Yay rabies!

Chip: Tuesday is applesauce day!

Vicky: Who in their right mind would think of interrupting me when I'm about to watch TEEN SINGING SENSATION-- (opens door) CHIP SKYLARK! AHHHHHHHH!!

Chip: Hi (poses) I was just involved in a non-lethal accident in my record company's car. All of a sudden I hit this tree that seemed to po out of nowhere. Totally weird. The album comes out July 24th can I use your phone?

[Mr. Crocker]

CROCKER- Good news, children! The Fs are in! Oh, smell those hot, fresh Fs! Mm...hey! This one smells like an A+--and it's for...Timmy Turner?
AJ- Oh no! Timmy got an A+? It's the sign of the apocolypse!
CHESTER- Everyone, hit the bunker! Aaaah! Aaaaah!
TIMMY- Actually, I just doodled. Thank you, short attention span!
CROCKER- There's only one way Turner could get an A+--FAIRY GODPARENTS!!! And I can use this A+ as an excuse to invite myself over to his house and finally search his premises for proof of the existence of...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!
TIMMY- Um...hello? I'm right here. I can hear every word you are saying.
CROCKER- Then I don't have to repeat myself. I'll be over at eight. FAIRIES!!!

MRS. TURNER- And let's use the good toilet seats so the meal is special from when it starts to where it ends.
MR. TURNER- The good toilet seats?! She totally digs your teacher!

MR. TURNER- Those eyes...that hair...that figure. Oh my gosh! It's worse than I thought! He's gorgeous!

MRS. TURNER- Are those dead, beeping flowers?
CROCKER- Actually, it's my fairy detector--I mean, yes! Dead, beeping flowers that are...dead. Heh.

CROCKER- My diabolical scheme has worked--I'M IN!!! Now if only I can get one of these idiots to give me a tour of the house, I can sweep the place with my dead, beeping...FAIRY DETECTOR!!!
MR. TURNER- Uh, hello? I'm right here.
MRS. TURNER- And we would love to be the idiots to give you a tour of the house.

CROCKER- FAIRIES!!! I knew I whiffed them!
TIMMY- Mr. Crocker! Come back!
MR. TURNER- Great. Now I've lost my son to him too? It's too much!

CROCKER- I heard them! FAIRIES!!! In the bathroom! Laughing!

CROCKER- You know, Turner, some people would find this style of delivering a report imaginative and deserving of reward.
TIMMY- Thanks!
CROCKER- Unfortunately, I am not one of those people. You failed!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

lmao!! well um yeah lol here's stuff i say alot:

"um like.....no"

"what?!"

"..................say that again? in ENGLISH?"

"I don't exist"

"Who are you? Why are you in my house?"

"Ack! Mobilizing parental unit! "

"OMG!"

"Holy shiznit!"

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......."

"I gotta use the little girls room"

"I'M IN THE DANG BATHROOM HOLD UP!"

"I got skills yo"

"Go me go me go me"

"MONEY!"

"YAY I'M GOING TO THE MALL!"

"-sarcasm- yay i'm going to work......"

"walmart is ghetto"

"walmart can go burn in heck"

"WALMART IS EVIL!"

"My bed's in the back room......"

"WHO MOVED MY LUNCH?"

"MY FOOD! GO AWAY!"

"How can I smile when I'm here???"

"YOU'RE MAKING MY MEDS WEAR OFF!"

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude........"

"whazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap?"

"Yo"

"How be you?"

"I don't know you.......so quit stalking me"

"STALKER!"

"Mommy!!!"

lol um yeah i got some weird quotes ne? XD

[Mr. Crocker]

LOL! *posts more random Crocker spout-offs just cuz it's fun*

CROCKER- Now to get a closer look. Activate stealth mode! And now for some hi-tech STEALTH MUSIC!

CROCKER- Gah! Get away from me!

CROCKER- The magic! It's moving! I must follow it!
KIDS- We want ice cream!
CROCKER- Have to get these kids out of my way!
KIDS- Aaaaah! Spinach!
CROCKER- Excellent!
SAILORS- Ahoy! Spinach!
CROCKER- Gah!

CROCKER- Ugh! How big is this muffin-shaped source of magic anyway?
WAXELPLAX- Crocker! What is the meaning of this fork in my fanny?
CROCKER- Um...it's Cupid's fork of love...I LOVE YOU!!!
WAXELPLAX- Oh...well, this is so sudden and...heh...unwanted.
CROCKER- Oops. Gotta teach. I'll call you!

CROCKER- Students, this is a math problem. But in a world where magic and fairies exist, who cares? Math means nothing! A fairy can make 2 + 2 = FISH!
COSMO- You know, he's right.
CROCKER- Stare at the board until the lunch bell rings. Ugh...

CROCKER- Going somewhere, Turner? Ah, let me answer that for you--NO!
TIMMY- Why'd you chain me to my desk?
CROCKER- So you won't get in my way, of course! I need to keep you here so I can find your muffin-shaped source of magical energy before you do! And prove once and for all the existence of...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!

CROCKER- Aha! Fairy pastry!

CROCKER- And now, I'm going to do my "I Will Be The Ruler Of Man And Ape" dance! Oh, I am the master of man and ape! I am the ruler of man and ape! Everybody sing!

CROCKER- No! Don't take me! Take the children! They'll last longer!

CROCKER- Well, this is certainly an unpleasent situation, but on the bright side, I finally have my own apartment away from my mother! I should have a dinner party on Friday. Turner! If the ape overlords haven't dissected you by Friday, do you want to come to my fancy dinner party? I'm serving shrimp puffs.
TIMMY- Shrimp puffs are gross!

CROCKER- Ah, a muffin! Hmm...I'm not scheduled to eat until March. I'd better save this.

CROCKER- Yes! I hope you taste like puffed up shrimp!

CROCKER- Gaaaah! Pooh! What a horrible muffin!

TIMMY- If I was Crocker and I'd finally captured a fairy godparent, what's the first thing I'd do? Rub it in the face of my students.

CROCKER- Children, I have big news! I'm quitting teaching--
KIDS- Yay!
CROCKER- I'm quitting teaching...to be ruler of the universe!

CROCKER- Ice scuptures. Weird. I was going for smoldering pile of ash.

CROCKER- So little fairy, do you like the way I've changed everything into Planet Crocker?
WANDA- It's horrible! When are you gonna let me go?
CROCKER- Hmm...what's today?
WANDA- Tuesday.
CROCKER- Wednesday...Thursday...NEVER!

CROCKER- Hmm...what would an angry dictator say right now?
WANDA- "I'm gonna let the fairy go"?
CROCKER- NO! Good try though. I respect that. He'd say "SILENCE"!

CROCKER- Oh, poopy.

CROCKER- Back for more, eh? Okay! I'll show you what magic--along with the proper planning and a little psychosis--can really do!

CROCKER- Excellent! I win! I like it when I win! But do you know what I like better? I like it when other people...LOSE!

MRS. TURNER- You great, evil monster!
CROCKER- Thank you! I was going for that.

CROCKER- Aha! I knew it all along! I was right! You do have fairies--that I have now!

CROCKER- Well...I can still smack you around with this.

CROCKER- It's true! Fairies exist! And someday, you will all bow down to me!
WAXELPLAX- But today, it's time for you to bow down...for your medicine.

CROCKER- FAIRIES!!! They're here! I can prove it!

*pant, pant* Abra-Catastrophe...gotta love Crocker's enormous role!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

lol yeah the biggest one they might ever give him....

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

this isn't fop but i love this line.......

SpongeBob: hello operator? Get me the navy!

operator: you've reached the navy hotline.......

SpongeBob: Squidward! Robots have taken over the navy!

Squidward: Not the navy!!


lmao!!! that line kills me!!

[Mr. Crocker]

SQUIDWARD- They pooped on the robot?

*dies laughing*

Oh, did you ever see "Most Wanted Wish"? I love Crocker's single very short appearence in that one.

CROCKER- Well, children. In my ongoing attempt to scar you for life, we're going to be playing...MUSICAL LAB PARTNERS!!!
*Pop Goes The Weasel plays*
CROCKER- Well, Ms. Tang, it appears Turner is the only living thing left available, so I'm pairing you with...THIS ROCK!!!

ROTFL!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

XD!! i have that one taped actually lol

[Mr. Crocker]

Me too, LOL! I need to get a wav file of that line though.

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

yeah lol ^^

Crocker: I hate modeling your dresses! Although it does make me feel pretty....

........XD

[Mr. Crocker]

TIMMY- Is it just me, or has Crocker gone crazy with pop quizzes?
CROCKER- Pop quiz!
CHESTER- That's a yes.
CROCKER- Quick! What's the recommended dosage of Vitamin B-12? Too late! F! Fs for everyone! It's an F-apalooza! All you can eat Fs!

CROCKER- Look! Up in the sky! Is it a D? Is it an E? No! It's Super F!
TIMMY- Good morning, Mr. Crocker.
CROCKER- Hello, Turner. *thinking* The poor, innocent sap who has no clue I'm about to pop a quiz on Botswana--the capital of which is Gabarone. Maybe he'll cry. That would be great! I could bottle his tears and sell them on the internet!

CROCKER- *thinking* I don't understand. How could I have failed? Where did I go wrong? Did I leave the curling iron on? And where will I find a child's tears now?

CROCKER- There's only one way a student could be so totally prepared for my quizzes and know that my mother called me "Flippy". He was given mind-reading powers by...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!

CROCKER- Favorite flavor of pie! Come on! Scream it in your heads!

CROCKER- Now everyone pretend I'm giving a lecture and let your minds wander freely while I videotape Turner admitting he has FAIRIES!!!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

LMAO!! omg!!! so much...........CROCKERNESS!! IN MY HEAD!! AND MY BRAIN!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BRAIN IT HURTS!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY SHIZNIT!!! o.o XD

[Mr. Crocker]

Crocker overload! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Okay, let's try Bitteroot instead!

BITTEROOT- All right, Bumpkin. Where be-eth the witch?
DALE DIMM- Duh...There-eth?
BITTEROOT- Ah! You've spyed a witch log? Bravo, Dale Dimm!

BITTEROOT- Aha! He said witch! And he smells good! Get him! Get the witch!

BITTEROOT- We shall test-eth this witch by dunking it in the lake using my patented "Alden Bitteroot Witch-Washing Anchor". If you don't buy one...YOU'RE A WITCH!!!
TOWNSPEOPLE- Ooh!
BITTEROOT- If ye sink and drown, then ye be human, but if thou dost die...YE ARE A WITCH!!!
TIMMY- That doesn't make any sense!
BITTEROOT- Not to a witch!

MAYOR- And as a reward for saving our sorry hides, have some more gold!
BITTEROOT- Don't mind-eth if I do-eth!

BITTEROOT- His hat! It doth belch! Surely, he must be a witch!

[Cosmo-n-Wanda]

hehe I wanna glomp Crocker more now XD